I have developed a special talent of late. I have a liquid foundation makeup that I put on every morning. Somehow it is splashing onto my shirt, although I have yet to determine just how that is happening, and believe me I have been watching diligently. It’s like dobs of makeup are being transported from the bottle to my shirt through magic Star Trek transporter technology.
This happened again this morning, ten minutes before I had to leave for work. And of course the dob of makeup landed on my boob. I had another clean shirt I could have put on. But I detest doing laundry, and was reluctant to give the shirt up as dirty since I had only worn it for one hour. So I dabbed at it a bit, took it off and hunted for my Tide pen. The cap from the pen was lost and it had run dry. Shit. So I whipped out the OxiClean and rubbed it in with the dry Tide pen. Running topless around my apartment doing last minute get-ready-for-work preparations, I dashed back to the bedroom for my shirt a minute before I had to leave. The OxiClean had, of course, left a big soapy damp spot where the makeup had been. Oh well, it’ll dry, I thought. I put it on and went to work.
In the bathroom at work, I saw that the drying OxiClean was leaving an outline of the area where I had sprayed. Crap. I rubbed at it with a damp paper towel to try and get the soap out, but of course all I accomplished with this was transferring lots of white paper towel fibers onto my red shirt. And now the wet spot was back. Right on my boob. I had to be on the reference desk in ten minutes, so I threw on my denim jacket and pulled it close over my chest and crossed my fingers.
Two hours later when I got off the desk – having taken the jacket off long ago when I got too hot – I checked out the shirt in the bathroom mirror. The OxiClean had completely dried and left a nice amoeba-shaped mark on my shirt. It looked like I was a breast-feeding mom whose boobs had been leaking earlier. Fantastic. I get to go around the library for the rest of the day with this soap mark on my boob. Lucky me.
Sounds like you can use some Orvus …
It’s used by quilters to wash antique quilts.
I use it for regular laundry when I’ve run out of my usual detergent.
Orvus can be purchased at a hay and grain facility — it’s used to wash horses and sheep, too.
It’s about $22 for a 7 lb container … and has lasted me almost 4.5 years, thus far.
A little bit/dab’ll do ya’!